The days have been too many without you.

I feel you in my heart and hear you in my mind and see you in my movement and know you in everything I do. And there is no way for me to begin to understand that you are not going to walk into your house, not going to call me, wont read my emails, wont write me, wont laugh at my (bad) jokes, wont hug me, wont see me as I go through each and every day from here on out. You are the most remarkable lady that somehow I was fortunate enough to be born to and raised by. I am looking for you everywhere. The days have been too many without you. You are so beautiful mom. Wherever you are. Miss isn't enough to describe what I feel. Its more than a longing. Its as if I need you to complete my breath. I am stronger, deep at my core, because of all the trust you had in me, all the love you gave me, all the care you showered on me, and today I feel my shell, my outerness, my body, weak and my my heart aches. I have all I need to create a new reality for myself, and you gave me all I need to continue to live a full feeling being joyous real life, and I will have you with me always, I know all this logically, but my heart is ruling today, and I ache for you every day, and still every day I search for you. Where are you mom. The days have been far too many to be without you.